Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Anti Valentines Day Blogfest. (Worst Date in History)

For those of you who have been seething for about a month at all the candy hearts adorning the aisles of your grocery store and daydreaming about how much you'd love to stomp all those boxes of chocolates to bits. Beth Fred's got just the thing for you. It's the "Anti Valentines Day Blogfest" and its happening right now. Be sure to hop on over to her blog when you're all done here to check her out if you haven't already.

Ready for the worst date in history? I sure wasn't. I had married young. Right out of high school young. And as those rash decisions sometimes go, a year later I was divorced. It took me another year to feel like I was ready to start dating again and a few friends did the occasional fix up, but no one had piqued my interest.

So a few months after my 21st birthday, this guy had started to hang around the store where I worked. He didn't talk much. Seemed a little shy, but I, being the chatter box that I am, usually helped him out in that department. Then one day this lady comes into the store, finds me, and proceeds to tell me that her son (the guy) is going to ask me out. I have to say yes because he has talked about me for months to his whole family and has even sought out relationship advice from both his father and grandfather. Awe. How could I say no?

I have to admit, I wasn't the least bit attracted to him, but beauty is only skin deep, right? A great personality and a sense of humor can make anybody grow on you given enough time. Several days later, he asked me out and I accepted. The following Saturday night, he pulls into the driveway and blows the horn. Nice. I get into his car and he seems like a totally different person. Shy and quiet was suddenly arrogant and confident.

When we arrived at Burger King for dinner, I was instantly outraged over the amount of money I had spent on the evenings outfit, and my mood didn't improve the moment he let the door to the fast food chain close in my face after he went in. You can imagine my shock when he ordered his food, paid, and then walked to the edge of the counter to wait on his tray while I ordered and paid for my own. Lovely, I had 15 bucks to my name and the dollar double did not yet exist.

After eating what I assume was a chicken sandwich, he then drove us to a bar. Yes a bar. He had said very little on the way, but had managed a few glances in my direction followed by a smug little grin that left me feeling a bit confused. Ya know, one of those, yeah baby, I know I'm that good sort of grins. Did he actually think this date was going to go down as a hit? Pa-lease. And watching him dance with other girls throughout the night didn't help his odds.

I ordered and paid for my own drink of course, and then watched in awe as he proceeded to open his mouth, and show me the stem of a cherry that he had tied with his tongue. *BARF* When he tried to kiss me at the end of the night, I nearly did just that. We never went out again.

A few days later, I learned what had motivated him to be such an ass. Apparently his father and grandfather had heard that women "nowadays" liked to be treated "equally". They want to be independent and any action from a man that shows otherwise is "nowadays" considered to be offensive. They were way off.

Months later, he asked me what he had done wrong. Big mistake. I did not come equipped with a filter. And he did ask. So I told him that he had made the fatal mistake of ignoring the fine line between being a gentleman and an asshole. Independent women the world over still appreciate a gentleman. The latter, we could do without.  He actually thanked me for the heads up.  Good grief.

Hope you enjoyed the story more than I enjoyed the night.

BTW: My day after Valentines Day contest ends tonight. Check the previous two posts for the riddle and see if you can guess what I got for V-day.

Final Hint: You use this all the time.


  1. Whoa! Okay, this one beats mine for sure. My date sounded similar, but at least he pretended to act interested in me... sort of. Yick!

  2. LOL! Yep, that's pretty bad. What a loser. Makes for a great story tho. :)
    And I'm sticking to my guess of a new toilet.

  3. Wow!!! Makes me happy that I am happily married and in no need to enter the dating pool!

  4. What a jerk. I hope he does learn his lesson!

  5. Oh wow! He was a jerk. What a nightmare. But thank you for participating.

  6. Holy crap!! How thick can you be!? Reading that just made me want to strangle him! He got nothing right!!! Ah well, I hope you helped him learn not to make that HUGE mistake again!!

  7. Thanks for the comments. I hope he definitely learned his lesson.


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