The Anti Valentines Day Blogfest. (Worst Date in History)

For those of you who have been seething for about a month at all the candy hearts adorning the aisles of your grocery store and daydreaming about how much you'd love to stomp all those boxes of chocolates to bits. Beth Fred's got just the thing for you. It's the "Anti Valentines Day Blogfest" and its happening right now. Be sure to hop on over to her blog when you're all done here to check her out if you haven't already.

Ready for the worst date in history? I sure wasn't. I had married young. Right out of high school young. And as those rash decisions sometimes go, a year later I was divorced. It took me another year to feel like I was ready to start dating again and a few friends did the occasional fix up, but no one had piqued my interest.

So a few months after my 21st birthday, this guy had started to hang around the store where I worked. He didn't talk much. Seemed a little shy, but I, being the chatter box that I am, usually helped him out in that department. Then one day this lady comes into the store, finds me, and proceeds to tell me that her son (the guy) is going to ask me out. I have to say yes because he has talked about me for months to his whole family and has even sought out relationship advice from both his father and grandfather. Awe. How could I say no?

I have to admit, I wasn't the least bit attracted to him, but beauty is only skin deep, right? A great personality and a sense of humor can make anybody grow on you given enough time. Several days later, he asked me out and I accepted. The following Saturday night, he pulls into the driveway and blows the horn. Nice. I get into his car and he seems like a totally different person. Shy and quiet was suddenly arrogant and confident.

When we arrived at Burger King for dinner, I was instantly outraged over the amount of money I had spent on the evenings outfit, and my mood didn't improve the moment he let the door to the fast food chain close in my face after he went in. You can imagine my shock when he ordered his food, paid, and then walked to the edge of the counter to wait on his tray while I ordered and paid for my own. Lovely, I had 15 bucks to my name and the dollar double did not yet exist.

After eating what I assume was a chicken sandwich, he then drove us to a bar. Yes a bar. He had said very little on the way, but had managed a few glances in my direction followed by a smug little grin that left me feeling a bit confused. Ya know, one of those, yeah baby, I know I'm that good sort of grins. Did he actually think this date was going to go down as a hit? Pa-lease. And watching him dance with other girls throughout the night didn't help his odds.

I ordered and paid for my own drink of course, and then watched in awe as he proceeded to open his mouth, and show me the stem of a cherry that he had tied with his tongue. *BARF* When he tried to kiss me at the end of the night, I nearly did just that. We never went out again.

A few days later, I learned what had motivated him to be such an ass. Apparently his father and grandfather had heard that women "nowadays" liked to be treated "equally". They want to be independent and any action from a man that shows otherwise is "nowadays" considered to be offensive. They were way off.

Months later, he asked me what he had done wrong. Big mistake. I did not come equipped with a filter. And he did ask. So I told him that he had made the fatal mistake of ignoring the fine line between being a gentleman and an asshole. Independent women the world over still appreciate a gentleman. The latter, we could do without.  He actually thanked me for the heads up.  Good grief.

Hope you enjoyed the story more than I enjoyed the night.

BTW: My day after Valentines Day contest ends tonight. Check the previous two posts for the riddle and see if you can guess what I got for V-day.

Final Hint: You use this all the time.

Happy Valentine's Day. Hint # 2

 Valentine's Day is so much fun. It's that one special day where you get to carry out all those previously plotted love scenes. Hey, take notes people. This stuff could be golden later. You never know.
I bet your beloved won't care a bit if they're being used as a test subject. My better half wouldn't care if I painted his face blue, marched him off to some makeshift guillotine, and demanded he yell freedom from the backyard*good times*.

So be romantic in real life. A little of us and sometimes a lot of us is in our writing. Roll with it. Then again, I feel like blushing right now. How bout you?

Another Hint for the Day After Valentines Day Contest:  For those of you who haven't seen the previous post, scroll down. You have to guess what I got for Valentine's Day. Read the little riddle and leave your guess in your comments. I left you an extra hint below and I'm now expanding a bit. Someone has to win. 

Now for the Hints:  It is something almost everyone has. Some have more than one and those who don't, wish they did. It is something of need. Something made of porcelain, and most definitely, NOT something anyone usually gets for Valentine's Day. I suppose, however, such an object could hold a lot of roses and keep them vibrant for several days. What am I.

Scroll to Saturday's post for the first part of the riddle and thanks for playing along.  

Good luck. The winner gets to name a book they'd like to have and have they will.

The Day After Valentines Day Descriptive Contest and 100 Followers Giveaway.

Okay, so I'm holding strong at 91 super amazing followers and I know I can get to 100. Call me an optimist. But surrounding ourselves with the most talented writers out there is just a blessing in itself if you ask me. So I thought we'd have a little fun to celebrate VD. This is not to be confused with venereal disease. I'm sure there are other websites out there for that. Soldier on (no judging).

So here's the down low on the contest. You have to guess what I got for Valentine's Day based on the little description below, and you must post something about this contest anywhere you choose. Leave the info in the comments section below by 11 pm, Tuesday February 15th. That's it.

And the prize is awesome. At least I hope you think so. You should. Because you get to choose your prize. Yep. No joke. Well, there are some limitations. The winner gets to choose a book, any book they've been wanting to buy. Please don't pick some collectible that costs like a gazillion dollars. You'll be disappointed. Promise. But a book from your ever growing wish list will be yours. And I may even throw in a surprise. Can't tell you about that. So here's what I got for VD. Can you guess what it is?

It can be forever welcoming, yet cold and selfish. It takes and refuses to give, but for that, I am eternally grateful. It offers contrast and rest, moves but remains. It is sleek, quiet, and often in the wee hours of night, it never fails to surprise. It is peace and discord, and it is my VD present. I am happy about it. What am I?

It was but a Dream.

Last night I had this amazing dream. I woke up wearing an elegant silk nightgown with a train that swept the hardwoods as I walked down the hall. (thank god, no swiffering later for me) There was a full pot of coffee in the Cuisinart, and there, just off the deck, was a brand new room with a sign on the door. The sign read T.C.'s Office. As I got closer to the door, I noticed the flip sign on the handle that read, DO NOT ENTER. And then it got even better. There, at exactly five feet two inches from the floor was a retina scanner. There was no doubt that it had been made for me. I wanted to run to my husband and thank him. It was just like him to be so amazing. But I knew he'd want me to savor the moment, so I stepped up to the threshold and allowed the tiny beam to read my retina. The door opened slowly, and a piano concerto began to play softly from the other side of the room, and I nearly looked around for Debussy as I closed the door behind me. This is what I saw.

I felt like this was it. It was everything I could have ever imagined an office to look like. My story could get finished now. Really finished. I'd have privacy and a lovely space to work in.
But then I woke up. And I walked down the hall in my Old Navy jammies (guess I have to swiffer now. I'm not bitter, swear)  and that's when I saw it. My real office. The one I get to muse in everyday because the teenagers took over the den where my office used to be. (okay maybe I'm a little bitter) This is now my office.

Looks almost as cozy. NOT!
Well, maybe for some. I found this in my office this morning.

Hello Cooper. Must be a faulty retina thingy.
But he was kind enough to give me this when I asked him to vacate my office.

Hum, looks a lot like the look the teenagers used to give me too. I wonder if I can resume a dream with ease. This is it people. I'm going back to my office. I mean bed! :) Happy Weekend!

Tweet what?

Okay, so I'm rarely ever quiet unless I'm sick or reading, and even then, I've been known to croon muffled sweet nothings at Robitussin bottles or compliment my favorite authors while I read their books. My opinion seems to have it's own free will and occasionally I'm just as shocked as everyone else when I realize that I have spoken out loud. Believe me, it's not always a good thing. That whole honesty is always the best answer thing, well, I really took that seriously. But in all my incessant chatter, humor, and occasional rant, I can't find a thing to say on Twitter. Nothing. I just sit there staring at the screen thinking about whether or not anyone will give a rats patooty if I'm going to the store (for those of you who do, I'm picking up cabbage for cole slaw later, having barbecue for dinner, just a heads up). I mean, sure there is the occasional post on someones contest or a great little writing tip you found over on some amazing blog, but other than that, I've got a sock in it. I'm getting on my own nerves. Heck, I just put out a whole freakin paragraph on how I couldn't tweet. I of all people should be able to say something. So what's so weird and intimidating about two or three little sentences? Am I just feeling confined by the character limit? Anybody else have this problem?

Are you in or are you out?

 

I was hoping to post this earlier today but no such luck. Brenda Drake  has this great contest going on over at her blog and I wanted to let everyone know about it that doesn't know already. So head on over there right this minute and check it out (like really this minute, it ends in less than 12 hours...shoo! But come back. Pa-lease.). Now the cool thing is that you only have to list who you are, the title of your work, genre, and the first sentence. And you can hop around to other blogs and check them out while you're reading all those awesome first lines.

First lines either draw me in or they lose me right away. I can peruse through B&B picking up books at random, and generally, it's the stellar first lines that either make it a keeper or a weeper. It's not something I plan. I'm not always sure what makes it so stellar to begin with. Piquing my interest isn't a hard thing to do, however, keeping me from envisioning rouge monkey's making paper footballs out of your masterpiece is a whole other story. No pun intended. 

Those lines can be mysterious, funny, sarcastic, sexy, regretful, or even deep and emotional. But they have to make me want to read on. I've even heard lit agents who say they rarely get past the first sentence of a manuscript (no pressure). So this is why I've rewritten my first paragraph like a gazillion times. Humph. But as far as my first sentence goes...

Title: Will of the Walkers ( I've changed this a gazillion times too and probably will again.)

Genre: YA Crossover/ Paranormal Romance

First Sentence: Freaking babies? 

That's it. Short and sweet. But would it make you read on? Be honest. Spare me nothing. And share yours. I'd love to read your stellar first line.

Needing some time. Big time.

Oh my gosh people. It has been a super busy week. We're in the midst of some home improvements, which are fun, but my brain feels like mashed potatoes at the moment. Between trying to write, read, beta read ( which I don't feel I'm very good at), basketball games, and everything else I won't bore you to tears with, it's been crazy. So for my Found it Friday's, I'm actually admitting to something I need to find rather than something I've already found. I need time management. I don't how to get it. I've looked on Ebay, Craigslist, Amazon, and Overstock, and found nothing. Totally sucksville for me. So today is Fault Friday instead. Today I shall virtually stand before you and admit my biggest fault. I have no time management skills. And I don't know what to do about it. Since I became a stay at home Mom who runs a small business, I feel like I have no control over my own time. Do you guys ever feel this way? I mean its always something. Someone forgot their laptop at home and I have to run it to the school, the dog needs to go for a walk so that he can stare at a bird in the backyard again (like he's never seen a freaking bird already),someone needs something from Wal-mart, I need to exercise, whatever. Time just seems to elude me. I really will be late to my own funeral because someone will call or text me. Swear it will happen. But as I get so frustrated about not having enough time, I think about my husband who works so hard just so that I can have all this time to mismanage.   I'm a cretin. And I feel guilty now so I'm going to eat something chocolate. Don't try to stop me. It's as good as done. Instead, tell me how you do it. What's your schedule? How do you guys visit all those blogs, read all those books, write all those words, raise the kids, kiss the husband, manage the job? Tell me your secrets or point me in the direction of the lab that has been cleared for human cloning cause I need another me.