Thursday, May 16, 2013

FREAKING PANDEMONIUM!!!

Oh my GOD People! I don't even know where to begin with this post. It's freaking pandemonium around the writing lair this week. I downloaded anti-spyware onto my Mac, something I've always used just for extra peace of mind. But the program is a picture eating, document hiding, web-site blocking NAZI, and said NAZI is clearly having a seizure. For those of you who have entrusted me with your manuscripts. Fear not. They've been recovered.

Speaking of manuscripts. A super amazing beta reader has shared her super amazing beta reader with me. And guess what! I'm an idiot! Did you guys know you're not supposed to end sentences with propositions? Well, apparently my character had no idea cause she keeps doing it. SMH (shake my head). That MC is going to be the death of me. Thank god for beta's who take the time to read, gut, shred, and glue our manuscripts back together. I think we should have an award ceremony once a month. We'll call it the Beta Awards. At this moment, there is a text going out to my secretary to get on that. And, in just a moment, she's going to text me back. It will read something like this: What the hell r u talking about? I'm not ur secretary. U can't afford one of those cause ur a loser! I'm the assistant manager. And maybe ur a beta-head too. Did u ever think of that? Are u drinking wine again? What the hell is a beta anyway? Did you call me a fish? This is what I get for hiring my BFF to work at a company that has absolutely nothing to do with writing.

To which I will reply with this: You're fired until 9 a.m. tomorrow morning for insubordination and for not knowing what a beta reader is. I'm withholding a portion of your earning to pay for therapy. I need it after the whole loser thing. And yes, I'm drinking wine again!

In other news. The kiddos have gone bat-shit crazy. Apparently we're experiencing some sort of lunar apocalypse within the household, and its making co-domiciling with the Blair Witch look pretty damn enticing. Jesus. I'm cursing in my blogpost. See. Told you. Total pandemonium.

:)